Honest Life

Moving During A Pandemic

My word of the year is ‘Secure’. What a year to pick that word to guide my life and decisions. And it’s only March. Something comforting right now is knowing that pretty much the entire world is experiencing the same thing right now. We might all be feeling very different about it, but COVID-19 is happening to all of us. It is effecting our jobs, our routines, our health, our normalcy and yes, our security.

Our original plan was to move back to Spokane, live off my wages from a new job that paid more, have my husband secure a job in 1-2 months and then move out of my in-laws place and into our new home we bought. Oh me from the past, how could you have predicted a sickness that started half way around the world in December would come to effect you directly in so many ways in March?

That new job that paid more and was promised to be super secure in employment? It laid off seven people on Friday due to upcoming revenue loss from COVID-19. While my job seems safe at the moment, if things continue as they have been who’s to say what measure would need to be taken to keep the business afloat. The job my husband was going to get? No one is conducting interviews right now. The house? Probably not a good idea to make one of the biggest investments in your life when your income could disappear any day. And good luck finding a realtor that will show you homes right now. All of this and the worry of being infected and living with three extremely high risk people can become all consuming. This is the least secure I have felt in a long time.

Get outside if you can. It can help immensely.

So much change in just a short amount of time has caused me great concern and anxiety. What semi comforts me is that we are truly all experiencing this together. I am lucky to have a job while I can have one (hopefully for a long time). I am lucky I can work from home and not worry about bringing in a pandemic that I could probably survive, but my family would most likely not. I am lucky I am living with my in-laws. Although not ideal, if I do lose my job I don’t have to worry about being evicted. I am lucky in so many ways that other people are not right now. And honestly, with all these worries, none of them matter if someone gets sick. I am just happy everyone I know and love is healthy at the moment.

The truth is no one knows what is ahead and no one has the answers. We truly have to take this one day at a time and react the best we can to the changes that come at us.

Despite this knowledge, I am filled with dread at times. A dread that feels so similar to what I felt when I first moved to Portland. I’ve talked about that feeling before. That sense of dread and consuming depression. I have almost had it drag me down twice since I’ve been here. I made the choices to come here based on the evidence of security I felt in that decision at the time. Now I am thrown for a loop wondering what in the world I’ve done. However, I do feel more secure to be near more family during this time. It comforts me to know we have people who care for us here that would never let us end up in a bad situation. In a way that confirms some of the security I came back for.

No one knows how long this will last or how it will end. How we will get back to normalcy. If we will. The best we can do is just keeping moving and keeping in touch and checking in with each other.

Google Hangouts keeping me sane.

I’ve found extreme comfort through video apps like Google Hangout and House Party. These have been so good for my mental health. It can be lonely during quarantine seeing the same people day after day. Only leaving the house for walks or grocery shopping necessities. I think it’s important to stay connected to as many people as we can during this.

If you are an anxious person and are feeling all around shit about this experience my advice is to reach out to others, limit your access to the news and focus on what hasn’t changed as everything changes rapidly around us. Another thing is to focus on is what has changed for the better. Whatever you’re feeling it’s okay to feel it. Some of you are happy about a quarantine. You’re able to spend more time with your families, relax at home and keep an income going through this. Other people aren’t so fortunate. There is no wrong way to feel right now. Just feel it.

I wake up and try to think of three things that I am happy about that have changed and three that haven’t. Here were some I wrote down from last week:

Things that haven’t changed:

  1. Recording/editing the podcast
  2. Being able to bake (even though I had to use oat flour thanks to food hoarders – stop hoarding food!)
  3. Checking out digital loans from the library for free so I’m always reading something new

Things that have changed that are positive:

  1. More puppy time
  2. Sleeping in an extra hour on work days
  3. Talking more with friends than I used to

I’ve been limiting my news digestion to 15 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes after dinner. This has been such a huge positive change for me and if you easily get sucked in to the news cycle or it makes you anxious I highly recommend setting boundaries like this.

Overall things aren’t perfect. But is anyone experiencing a perfect time right now? Or ever? we just have to continue to stay connected, not get sucked into anything too negative and feel our feeling as they come. Know they’re okay, validate them and keep going.

Stay healthy everyone.

Honest Life

An Honest Move

I’ve been pretty quiet on here lately. It’s been a mixture of being insanely busy (as you’ll see) and trying to find the right words to say. I started off 2020 with my word of the year, ‘secure’, and I’ve been letting it guide me on this crazy set of circumstances that have all aligned in the past month.

It really started over the summer though. My husband and I were just getting settled into the second floor of this three level condominium we had moved into in the spring. The inside was beautiful, but we missed our backyard we had at the rental house and we really missed not having people walk over our head all day. We had just gotten back from a visit to Spokane for a friend’s wedding and we had toured my brother and sister in-law’s new home and my friends were talking about buying soon as well or having just bought a place. We were starting to think of our future in Portland. What did home buying look like for us here?

We have been here seven years and six of those years were great. I’ve talked before on here about how hard it was at first and how difficult it was career wise for the first year we were here. But we really hit our stride in the last 4-5 years here. We love the food and the beer. We love our friends. We have great careers. The problem was two things: our time off was minimal and we missed our family and friends in Spokane.

We only get to come here once a year because of PTO issues and this place is a huge source of calm and relaxation for my body and soul.

Regarding our first problem, we had 2 weeks per year to fit in all our vacation. About 5 days to visit Spokane (2 in winter, 3 in summer), 3 days to visit California to see my family, and then we were left with TWO PTO DAYS to give to our passion of traveling. Which was really what we wanted to do. And who can really take in a new country or place in 5 days? It just wasn’t feasible. We were stuck with having to fit a trip into a long weekend, or cut down our PTO days to our family, but that wasn’t something we wanted to compromise on. Which was the second problem: we missed our friends and family. My Aunt has a great lake cabin in northern Idaho we like to visit. I only saw my friends once a year over Thanksgiving. My in-laws are the greatest people on the planet and we just saw them for a day in the summer and a few days over the holidays. It just wasn’t enough.

So we started talking in our little condo about how nice it’d be to have a house and some space. We could finally get a puppy, watch TV as loudly as we wanted, cook without bumping into each other. They seemed like little things, but what an improvement to our mental and physical health to be in a bigger space. A space that was just ours. A space we could NOT afford in Portland. The housing market here is just too expensive and we’d have to pay a lot more to get what we wanted when we could pay a fraction of that in Spokane.

So it was decided. We would move. A year from now. Ideally June 2021. Plenty of time to save up, get used to the idea, say our goodbyes, etc. We opened up to recruiters on Linkedin so we could start to look at what kind of jobs we might be able to get in Spokane when we were ready.

But this is life we’re talking about and things never go the way you plan. I got a hit right away from a recruiter and with some stealthy research found out the company that was wanting to hire. As a side note – if you can bypass a recruiter, do it. Recruiters are nice, but they take a portion of your salary as a hiring fee if you get the job. Not worth it. I applied directly and got a call back. I figured this would be a good chance to see what the job market had to offer and start to get an idea of what type of company I’d want to work for. So I did a few interviews. Felt really positive about it. They flew me out to Spokane for an interview and offered me a job on the spot. Not what I expected. I also didn’t expect to like it as much as I did. Three weeks later and our thoughts about moving a year and a half from now were becoming more like a few weeks from now.

It was very overwhelming. I kept trying to weigh the pros and cons. We left Spokane in 2013 because the job market was terrible, we needed experience and honestly we were pretty bored there. In the last five years though Spokane has really grown. There’s great new restaurants, brewerys, a renovated downtown. I mean it’s still Spokane, let’s be clear. But I was starting to see the positives more and more. So we talked it over and with the increase in pay from this new job, the 3 weeks PTO, the paid for benefits and the free relocation – it was a no brainier. With a lower cost of living in Spokane, it just all started to make sense.

Sun’s out, Apex out. Will miss my favorite beer/burrito combo place!!!

So we’re moving back to Spokane. A place that when I left I never thought I’d come back to. We’re really looking forward to it though. We will miss Portland so much. We both made our careers here, ate amazing food, drank decadent wine and beer, spent a great deal of time on beautiful hikes and exploring the coast and most importantly we made some of the best friends here. It’s hard to leave, but it the best choice for us at the moment.

Which goes back to my word of the year. Secure. With the better pay and lower cost of living, my security goals for the year are in full focus. Even outside of money, I think about the security of owning a home and feeling comfortable in it. Of being close to family and friends who can take you in if you need it. There is a lot that is secure about Spokane to me. It may not be a flashy or fun. It may not be as warm in the winter (it may also be too hot in the summer…). It may not have a brewery on every corner, a new place to eat every week or a new adventure to go out on, but it has a lot of other qualities that I am looking forward to experiencing again. But most importantly it is right for us.

It also goes back to my constant striving for a simple, honest life. This decision feels good for me. It feels like a good way to simplify my life and my time. It’s honest to say I want to move back. We made the decision by taking an honest look at how we wanted to live our lives and what was important to us.

Now all that’s left to do is move. AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MOVING.